How to Talk to Teachers About Your ADHD Child
"If she could focus on the lesson, she would get good grades."
"If he would sit still for more than 5 minutes, he might learn something."
As a parent of a child with ADHD, you may have heard similar comments from their teachers.
We know how frustrating and worrying it can be to listen to these comments. We also know how daunting it is to bring up the topic of your child having ADHD with their teacher:
"They've trained to be a teacher. They must know more than me."
"I don't want to be disrespectful."
"I know they're trying their best."
"I don't want to cause any issues."
These are things that parents have told us in the past that have been barriers to approaching their child's teacher to discuss their ADHD child.
We hear your anxieties about having these conversations, so here's a practical guide and top tips on explaining ADHD to teachers.
Importance of Communication with Teachers
Building a solid relationship and effective communication methods with your child's teacher is vital to any pupil's success, and this is especially true of children with ADHD or other SEN [1]. The Education Empowerment Foundation report on Working with Parents to Support Children's Learning states, "Parental engagement in children's learning and the quality of the home learning environment are associated with improved academic outcomes at all ages" [2].
You, as a parent, are the expert on your child. While their teacher has received training in educating children, they haven't explicitly received training in educating YOUR child. Your insight into your child's individual learning needs, challenges, and strengths is invaluable to their teacher. They are also unlikely to have received detailed training about supporting learners with ADHD. A survey in 2017 found that 89% of teachers were currently or previously had supported pupils with ADHD, but over 63% felt they had received inadequate support in how to do so [3].
Conversation goals
Discuss support options
It is essential to use this opportunity to communicate with your child's teacher about what support options might be available to them. You can provide suggestions and ask them what they think would be feasible to deliver in your child's current setting.
Some support options may be:
Developing structure and certainty for your child - e.g., taking 5 minutes at the end of each day to explain what to expect tomorrow.
Creation and use of flashcards to help with memory
Seat them away from as many distractions as possible (e.g., doors, as they will have higher foot traffic)
Reinforce instructions in multiple formats (e.g., verbally, written, and a reminder)
These are just a few suggestions and prompts to aid your conversation with your child's teacher. Each child is different, and you will know what methods work best for them.
Highlight strategies that have work at home or in other environments
School is not the only place your child will be experiencing challenges due to their ADHD. Therefore, it will be beneficial to note down strategies you have implemented to support them in other environments such as at home, hobbies, etc.
Taking this information with you to the conversation with your child's teacher will not only support you when asking for support but also provide evidence of how you have supported them and the positive impact that it has had. Your efforts are making a difference.
Create a Collaborative Action Plan
Just as you teach your child to work with their brain instead of against it, it is just as crucial for you to work with their teacher and not against them. Working together to create a collaborative action plan can be a great way to do this, as it demonstrates to their teacher that you want to work as a unit to support your child. It can also remove any unintended feelings of blame that your child's teacher may feel during the conversation.
Set realistic and measurable goals for your child's progress
Agreeing on the next steps beyond implementing support is as important as the support itself. As topics change and your child grows, their learning needs as a child with ADHD will change, too. Therefore, having realistic and measurable goals that you will revisit with their teacher is crucial to ensuring that the support continues to meet their needs.
Agree on regular check-ins and updates on your child's performance
As with setting realistic and measurable goals, it's also essential to set clear touch points for revisiting the conversation with your child's teacher. This will not only ensure that you have ongoing open communication, but it will also allow for a more dynamic support package that continues to meet their needs.
Tips for an Effective Conversation with Teachers
Preparing for the Conversation
To get the most out of your conversation with your child's teacher, it is vital to make sure you are prepared for the conversation; we recommend doing the following ahead of the meeting:
Make an appointment with their teacher - you may be considering grabbing their teacher for a chat at the start or the end of a school day, but this likely will leave you with a less effective conversation. Therefore we recommend asking your teacher for a meeting to discuss.
Gather information - Before the meeting, gather any notes, letters, emails, and other relevant information to aid the conversation with their teacher. This can help clarify any questions they may have.
Identifying specific concerns or challenges your child is facing
It is essential to provide specific examples of your child's difficulties. A vital step to ensure you can give specific and valuable examples is to talk to your child. Providing examples from other settings, such as home and hobbies, is helpful, but talking to your child to help you understand what they are struggling with in the classroom from their perspective will benefit their teacher.
Set clear goals for the conversation with the teacher
Know what you are hoping to come out of the conversation having achieved; this might include:
A collaborative action plan
A date for your next meeting
Clear goals will allow you to stay focused during the conversation and provide you with something to refer to if you feel anxious or overwhelmed.
Listen to your child's teacher and position
Just as you are an expert on your child and their needs, your child's teacher is an expert on pedagogy and teaching. Although they may not have a strong background in the specific needs of ADHD learners, once you explain the particular difficulties your child is experiencing because of this, their teacher will likely have suggestions on how to support them with the barriers they face.
Using positive and constructive language
Wherever possible, remain positive and use constructive language during your conversation. This will help you and the teacher feel more at ease and show that you are approaching them in a solutions-focused mindset, looking for solutions and working together, not with blame or anger.
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References:
[1] https://www.highspeedtraining.co.uk/hub/how-to-communicate-with-parents-effectively/
[2] https://educationendowmentfoundation.org.uk/education-evidence/guidance-reports/supporting-parents
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